Trump: no longer smiling.
Deep Truth expected some response from the powers-that-be, but not this! Donald Trump used our contact form to request a telephone conversation. What transpired is related below by our Aberdeen-based reporter, Jasper Thomas.
Aware of the bullying billionaire's abrasive personality, I felt I had the short straw when my colleagues persuaded me that my Aberdeen location meant that it should be me who took the tycoon up on his offer [see Tripping Up Trump for background information].
When his secretary put me through, I was expecting Trump to yell at me for daring to publicise Branson's break with the pack. Instead, he said, in a tone that can only be described as contrite and hesitant, punctuated by what seemed to be sobs, that we had given him the spur he needed to clear his conscience.
Aware of the bullying billionaire's abrasive personality, I felt I had the short straw when my colleagues persuaded me that my Aberdeen location meant that it should be me who took the tycoon up on his offer [see Tripping Up Trump for background information].
When his secretary put me through, I was expecting Trump to yell at me for daring to publicise Branson's break with the pack. Instead, he said, in a tone that can only be described as contrite and hesitant, punctuated by what seemed to be sobs, that we had given him the spur he needed to clear his conscience.
This film was Trump's turning point... because it led him to watch another.
Pissed, trouble sleeping
"Jasper," he said, "A coupla months ago I forced myself to sit down and watch that movie 'You've Been Trumped'. At first I was goddamn pissed [UK readers, he means angry, not drunk], thinking, 'How dare these, these... junior assholes try to stop me! Who the hell do they think they are?'
"After seeing it all the way through, my blood pressure wasn't too good, I tell ya. I had some trouble sleeping that night, and yeah, I swallowed a sleeping pill or two. You know those things are supposed to stop you dreaming? Well, they don't.
"Jasper," he said, "A coupla months ago I forced myself to sit down and watch that movie 'You've Been Trumped'. At first I was goddamn pissed [UK readers, he means angry, not drunk], thinking, 'How dare these, these... junior assholes try to stop me! Who the hell do they think they are?'
"After seeing it all the way through, my blood pressure wasn't too good, I tell ya. I had some trouble sleeping that night, and yeah, I swallowed a sleeping pill or two. You know those things are supposed to stop you dreaming? Well, they don't.
Donald Trump dreamed of this phone box in Pennan, Scotland.
Movie moved me
"Anyhow, I dreamed, and you know what I dreamed of? It was that danged red telephone box in the scenes they put in from that 'Local Hero' movie. Don't ask me why. The next day, I couldn't get that box outta my head. I thought, 'What the hell - gotta see that movie too, I guess! Maybe that goddamn box will __ off then!'
"So I watched it. Gee, it really got to me. It moved me. I felt a bit nauseous, I gotta tell ya. I had to get away from business for a while. I took a coupla days off, and flew to Aspen. I walked in the woods and saw nature for the first time, really.
"Then I forced myself to watch 'You've Been Trumped' again. I couldn't believe it. Everything seemed different to me. It was me who was the asshole!
"Anyhow, I dreamed, and you know what I dreamed of? It was that danged red telephone box in the scenes they put in from that 'Local Hero' movie. Don't ask me why. The next day, I couldn't get that box outta my head. I thought, 'What the hell - gotta see that movie too, I guess! Maybe that goddamn box will __ off then!'
"So I watched it. Gee, it really got to me. It moved me. I felt a bit nauseous, I gotta tell ya. I had to get away from business for a while. I took a coupla days off, and flew to Aspen. I walked in the woods and saw nature for the first time, really.
"Then I forced myself to watch 'You've Been Trumped' again. I couldn't believe it. Everything seemed different to me. It was me who was the asshole!
This film brought tears to Trump's eyes.
I was a jerk, but the real creeps were...
"Yeah, I sure was a jerk, going in there and bulldozing nature and telling the locals to piss off, and that they lived in pigsties but, you know what?
"The real creeps were those running around doing my dirty business for me - not to mention the Scotch Nationalist Party [sic]... that Salmon guy [sic] who licked my... who told the council to piss off and let me do what I wanted with the triple SI [Site of Special Scientific Interest]. So, the independence thing... Do these Nationalists want to hand the country over to us billionaires to do what we want with it, or do they want to run it for the people...?
"And the cops! The cops [Grampian Police] were even on my side when we cut that guy's water off! And then they got all heavy with the reporter. Well, I'll admit now that he wasn't breaking the law, just doing his job. I guess the cops' behaviour don't surprise me too much, but really, if they don't look out for the little guy, who will?
"Yeah, I sure was a jerk, going in there and bulldozing nature and telling the locals to piss off, and that they lived in pigsties but, you know what?
"The real creeps were those running around doing my dirty business for me - not to mention the Scotch Nationalist Party [sic]... that Salmon guy [sic] who licked my... who told the council to piss off and let me do what I wanted with the triple SI [Site of Special Scientific Interest]. So, the independence thing... Do these Nationalists want to hand the country over to us billionaires to do what we want with it, or do they want to run it for the people...?
"And the cops! The cops [Grampian Police] were even on my side when we cut that guy's water off! And then they got all heavy with the reporter. Well, I'll admit now that he wasn't breaking the law, just doing his job. I guess the cops' behaviour don't surprise me too much, but really, if they don't look out for the little guy, who will?
A Site of Special Scientific Interest was bulldozed for Trump's golf course.
Cowards
"So all those people were happy to run around and do just what the hell I told them. Destroy the dunes, harass the locals... Well, I was a bully, but they were yellow-livered cowards!
"You gotta stand up to bullies. They must have known that the whole thing was about lining my pockets. What would be the point of letting the local economy siphon off the profits? ...And the golfers would be flying in from the USA and Japan. How does that fit with sustainable development? Hypocritical assholes!
"So all those people were happy to run around and do just what the hell I told them. Destroy the dunes, harass the locals... Well, I was a bully, but they were yellow-livered cowards!
"You gotta stand up to bullies. They must have known that the whole thing was about lining my pockets. What would be the point of letting the local economy siphon off the profits? ...And the golfers would be flying in from the USA and Japan. How does that fit with sustainable development? Hypocritical assholes!
Trump, now a keen zoologist. spotted a mistake in 'Local Hero'!
Studied some 'ologies'
"So, yeah, there's the eco thing. You know, after watching 'Local Hero' I started to study some 'ologies': zoology, botany, ecology... I learnt a thing or two.
"Yeah, ha, ha, something I spotted when I was clued up on the birds and beasts... There was a cock-up in 'Local Hero' - there was this scene where they crept up on some grey seals, only they weren't grey seals, they were sealions, from thousands of miles away! If I made a movie and someone cocked up like that...
Bullshit
"Anyhow, of course I learnt that I had been talking bullshit about the dunes. Their fauna and flora (yeah, I can use these words now!) depend on the fact that they are moving, so I really __d them up. I'll try and put them back, but they may never be the same, and..."
At this point in the conversation, Trump appeared to break down. He took a few seconds to recover.
"Yeah, so, I'm real sorry, real, real sorry. Please forgive me! I'll do what I can to fix things... With the locals too... I know money can't do everything but I'll give them what they think is reasonable, and apologise in person."
"So, yeah, there's the eco thing. You know, after watching 'Local Hero' I started to study some 'ologies': zoology, botany, ecology... I learnt a thing or two.
"Yeah, ha, ha, something I spotted when I was clued up on the birds and beasts... There was a cock-up in 'Local Hero' - there was this scene where they crept up on some grey seals, only they weren't grey seals, they were sealions, from thousands of miles away! If I made a movie and someone cocked up like that...
Bullshit
"Anyhow, of course I learnt that I had been talking bullshit about the dunes. Their fauna and flora (yeah, I can use these words now!) depend on the fact that they are moving, so I really __d them up. I'll try and put them back, but they may never be the same, and..."
At this point in the conversation, Trump appeared to break down. He took a few seconds to recover.
"Yeah, so, I'm real sorry, real, real sorry. Please forgive me! I'll do what I can to fix things... With the locals too... I know money can't do everything but I'll give them what they think is reasonable, and apologise in person."
Trump is known for his opposition to windfarms.
Windfarms and astroturf
At this point I decided to ask Trump about his loathing of windfarms.
He responded: "Yeah, look, I can't claim to like the look of them, but I do accept they're not quite as bad as I made out, and that it's a matter of taste. And, yeah, I do feel a bit guilty about setting about that astroturf group [Communities Against Turbines Scotland] to attack them. I'll come clean: no way was it a genuine grassroots movement. Of course, I'll be cutting their funding."
At this point I decided to ask Trump about his loathing of windfarms.
He responded: "Yeah, look, I can't claim to like the look of them, but I do accept they're not quite as bad as I made out, and that it's a matter of taste. And, yeah, I do feel a bit guilty about setting about that astroturf group [Communities Against Turbines Scotland] to attack them. I'll come clean: no way was it a genuine grassroots movement. Of course, I'll be cutting their funding."
Eckhart Tolle is teaching Donald Trump how to meditate.
Before Trump ended the call, I couldn't resist asking him what he had thought of Richard Branson's recent statement, as reported on this site.
Meditation
He said: "Well, interesting ideas. I need to look into this employee-ownership thing. And I am thinking of... shedding some dough. Richard made a good point about educating girls in the developing world. Who knows? You know I'm kinda shaken up right now, and I need some time to think.
"Look, I gotta go now, Jasper. Eckhart Tolle is coming round to teach me about meditation, wouldya believe?"
Meditation
He said: "Well, interesting ideas. I need to look into this employee-ownership thing. And I am thinking of... shedding some dough. Richard made a good point about educating girls in the developing world. Who knows? You know I'm kinda shaken up right now, and I need some time to think.
"Look, I gotta go now, Jasper. Eckhart Tolle is coming round to teach me about meditation, wouldya believe?"